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What life could be like as an introvert – Saffira’s story

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Time Stamp: 16 January 2021

My name is Saffira Muntslag, I am a 24-year-old mother of a 2,5 year-old. A sweet and energetic little boy and we live in Amsterdam.

I used to be an assistant department manager with a good salary and a permanent contract. I was also training for career opportunities. I had savings and was looking forward to eventually buying a house. I was amazingly proud of myself. At the time I was only 22. All of a sudden everything I had built so far, collapsed!

Reality checked!

My son (that was only 6 months at the time) was having health problems. He was feeling stuffy and could hardly breathe. It was so bad that we had to visit the hospital almost every other day. One day it was so terrifying that we had to call the ambulance to pick us up. I never thought something like this could happen to us. From sleepless nights on the hard hospital beds to rushing to work just so I could still be on time. Because I was doing everything on autopilot, there was no time to be sad, tired, or emotional. I looked like a robot.

The situation around my son became physically and mentally too hard. Even though I often didn’t admit it. I worked full-time, followed an education and I was a mother of a little one who was constantly in the hospital. This ultimately resulted in the company and I having to part ways. So I no longer had a job and I stopped school. I lost everything… I have dysthymia (chronic depression) and I felt I was going to a dark place again. But now I have a son who needs me the most. So I refused! Then my self-love journey started.

Timestamp; 23 January 2020 – My rebirth date.

I was training 4 days a week with a personal trainer. I started to work on my appearance. Also was I an introvert, but slowly turned into an ambivert. After some difficult months, my son’s health got better and better.

 

Mom and son

I loved being a mother again, I loved life again in general.

I also applied for jobs again, but right at that moment, the first lockdown started. But that didn’t stop me, I wasn’t going to give up. The gyms were closing, but we were still training outside, which was waaaaay out of my comfort zone.

I felt so insecure and watched. My trainer used to make jokes that actually made me feel comfortable. I am very thankful for my trainer. He really pushed me to the fullest. Even when it was cold, rainy or even when I wasn’t feeling too well, I was there! 

The lockdown didn’t make the job applications easier.

My motivation was being tested, but I was determined. I had a temporary cleaning job at my primary school. I never thought I would have a job like this. But I was happy to have an occupation.

Unfortunately, this didn’t last for too long, because one of my sons close family members tested positive for covid-19. My son and I had to go in quarantine which led to being fired from the job. 

Giving up was not an option, so this setback didn’t stop me from pursuing it.

I applied for a job as a tram driver at GVB, which was a very long procedure, but happy as I was, I succeeded in every test. It felt like a victory. Unfortunately, this one was also for a short period of time. GVB had to stop the procedure because of the fewer travellers during the pandemic. And till this day I’m waiting for them to get in touch.

Long story short: in a time period of one year, I already had 4 jobs, and 3 missed opportunities.

Crazy enough my mental health got better and better. I opened up to new things and to meet new people. Because of all the jobs I gained experience and looked at life from a different view and in a different way.

I was receiving compliments from strangers, people looked up to me. I was glowing, and turning to a version of me that I didn’t even know I had in me.

What I’m trying to say with my story is; 

Find your inner peace and find yourself. Do not become a robot and enjoy the things around you, enjoy life.

I had lost everything, but I found myself back.

It’s okay to start all over again or to take a few steps back. It’s a lesson that can only get you better and stronger. Take good care of yourself, your inner peace, and everything you love. At the end of the day, this is what will keep you up and going!

The rest will follow. Just have faith. That’s above anything.

We start over from here.

Update: 16 December 2021

A lot has been changed in the last 12 months.

I had to get 3 jobs to survive. i re-applied for a job at GVB. The job offer for tram driver is still inactive, so I applied for tram conductor.

Since the 23rd. Of august (my son’s. birthday) I’m active as a tram conductor at GVB.

I finally found peace, I feel like the dirt is off my shoulders. My son is developing. We have been hospital free for 1,5 years now. I’m grateful to everyone who has helped me during this difficult and uncertain period.

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